Venting
by QWERTYsweetheart
Summary: Set after S02E05. Regina attempts to talk to Mary Margaret after she is forced to let Daniel go after Frankenstein attempts to bring him back.


Constructive criticism is always welcome!

Disclaimer: I do not own nor claim to own Once Upon a Time or any characters and places associated with Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz's story or original and rewritten fairytales. No profit is made from the writing for this fanfiction!

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Regina sat across the table from Mary Margaret, eyes on the polished wood as she rubbed the side of her tea-cup with her thumbs. The silence was uneasy, the air turning thick in Regina's lungs as David kissed his wife goodbye for the moment. He gazed at her from the door with concern though he knew that it was unfounded, especially when Henry still remained firmly in their care.

The door clicked shut and Mary Margaret took a shallow breath.

"I used magic…" Regina uttered.

Mary Margaret took a moment, clearing her throat slightly. "I know. You did something extremely brave, something a lot of us couldn't do."

"The simplest of things were always the ones that made the biggest impact in the hardest of times and he was that and everything more to me. Even when he was gone I… I could imagine life without him." The words fell from her lips like they had been trapped for decade. Like she had been aching to share her pain but had always found herself alone, reciting it to herself until it because etched on her tongue. "He couldn't give me wealth or title or a huge castle like your father but he was going to give me something nobody else could. Not much, but it would have been enough and it would have been perfect. I was a lot like, you know? So innocent, so pure, just after that happily ever after everyone dreams about." She looked away, bitter and face scrunched like she fought back tears.

"Regina, I know what it's like to lose…"

"No, you don't." Her gaze bore down in Mary Margaret, jaw tightening as tears leaked down the side of her nose. "However much you sit at home and relate our lives, our situations you will never really know the pain I face every day. Darkness emanates from everything I see. Everything I touch rots underneath me!"

Her face was contorted, her hand trembling violently against the table.

"You don't know what it's like to close your eyes every night, see him smile at you and feel that love take over every part of you, course through your veins, tingle the tips of your fingers and have it torn away as you wake up. You've always had that hope even when you have been so far apart because…" Regina paused, swallowing thickly "…he will always find you."

Mary Margaret clutched at the fabric close to her chest lightly; tears glassing her eyes like her heart ached with every word. She couldn't look away from the woman, from the pain that plastered her face or the sorrow that twisted her mouth into a broken grimace.

She had always been passionate and through all the wrong that the woman opposite her had done, she wanted nothing more than to embrace her tightly. She remembered what it was like to lose David before they knew who they were. The helplessness of it all, the throbbing emptiness but she knew Regina was right. Even before the curse broke those words rung in her dreams and she knew that somehow, they would find a way. Regina didn't have that and it crushed her.

"He'll never find me. And now…" Regina wiped away the tears from her cheeks with her sleeve. Her eyes were distance as if she was focusing on something that only see could she in the middle of the room "…the only thing I thought could ever fill the part of me you so ignorantly crushed as a child…"

The pause was abrupt, but Mary Margaret needed no explanation as she followed Regina's line of site to a picture on the counter close by, a picture of them both: Charming and herself, with their beautiful daughter and finally, her son Henry.

The cheeks which Regina had just dried were raw once again with tears and Mary Margaret collapsed the photo which she had thought Regina had been oblivious to.

"Sometimes…" Regina started again, voice cracking with budding sadness "…I sit alone, staring at my reflection and all I will give back is distain, as surely as I was staring at my mother."

"You will never be your mother."

"I already am." She stated, look back at the woman across from her "And the worst part is every night before I close my eyes, I thank God that Henry is safe in your care and that I can finally be alone with my hatred and anger and sorrow. So I know that one day when he is has that love reflected in his eyes I don't rip the heart out of his chest by making him watch me destroy everything he loves in helpless defeat."

Pause. It was silent, cold. Regina wiped her cheeks once more, content that her eyes were finally drying up as she regained herself.

"Perfect love, perfect family, perfect life. You take my true love, my son and my happiness and every night I wish Henry never knew you existed but he does. I would kill you, and your Prince, and your precious girl. I could do it, would do it but then I'd be taking away from him, what was taken from me. I would be..."

Mary Margaret stepped in, focus lowered and face dropped from sadness to pitiful understanding. "You are scared of becoming your mother." She took a sharp breath, looking into the woman's eyes finally as she did so. "Regina, you are not your mother. You have done awful things but, you still have a heart. It still beats and it aches and it hurts you more than anything. You have a heart inside you; you never gave it up… I think you know that you can be good, and that you can help it heal."

"Why are you still fighting for me? I want to destroy with everything in me."

"Because I know that woman who saved me is still in there, happy and whole. I want more than anything to see her again." The woman smiled softly "I miss you."

Regina seemed to slowly slip into thought, staring off vacantly as Mary Margaret watched on with hopeful anticipation. It was short-lived.

"Don't get your hopes up." Regina said, standing up like nothing had taken place. Her fingers glided over the counter as she walked towards the door.

Mary Margaret watched with a listless sigh on her lips as Regina left, listening with the same unfocused gaze as she heard the light scratch of fabric brush down her door, knowing the queen was on the floor on the other side, head in her hands as tears filled up her palms. "I miss her too…" the mutter was barely audible through the door. Snow still heard and smiled slightly but still sadly, heading towards her room.

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Thanks for reading! x


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